remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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