Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
