Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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