Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
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Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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