Cold hands, warm shart.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
