i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
