Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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