the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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