don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
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I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize