I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
