uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
