no, he came in my armpit
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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