Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
