You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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