You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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