Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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