last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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