All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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