At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
