We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
