I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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