We're facebook friends in real life
she was so not down for the gang bang
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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