I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize