chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
