The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
