i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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