Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
