the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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