I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
