Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
