Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
