new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize