Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
