yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
