Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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