I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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