I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
