i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize