Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
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Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
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I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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