I just made out with a guy for $7.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
