Define "chronic" masturbator.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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