you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
