Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
