I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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