Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
