she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
