what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
