Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
