I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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