Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
