Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
