No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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