it was like his penis was on wheels.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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