is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
