am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
