Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.