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Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
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