I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
