waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
