I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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