I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
