So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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