You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
